A Sign

sign

n.

1. Something that suggests the presence or existence of a fact, condition, or quality.

2. A portentous incident or event; a presage

I have always believed in “signs”.  I think I have to accept the fact that this is a sign. I am just not meant to be a donor and I should realize that there will be better things to happen because of this…..perhaps if I was a donor, there is always that chance of rejection (what a waste that would be), or perhaps I need to hold onto my kidney for someone else (perhaps years from now my kids may need one and with improvement of modern medicine, I will be able to do so). Whatever the reason, I have to move on and try to help Jim in other ways…….

Yesterday I spent the day at Barnes Hospital again retaking the Iothalimate Scan that determines your GRF reading (kidney function). I last did this in March which showed my kidney function was at 76%. Since then I have lost weight (which is a factor in the calculation) and had hopes that my kidney function would have improved.

Also in the afternoon I had a consultation with Dr. Vijayan, one of the kidney transplant doctors at Barnes to go over my records to evaluate me to see if I would still be able to be a potential donor. Tests results from what I had done that morning weren’t yet available, but in her opinion, since I was still on the “low-end” of the kidney function, as well as my blood pressure being extremely high while I was there, she does not feel that I would be suitable to be a donor any longer. While this is not the news I wanted to hear, she did help me realize that she is looking out for my best interest and that I will still be able to help Jim in other ways. Ever since we were told that I was a match, we thought this was going to be simple and easy. It’s been neither.

So basically, we are back to step one. He will continue to be on the UNOS transplant list, hope that they find a match, educate ourselves on the different dialysis options, and continue to look for “signs” that will help us all during this journey.